No matter how much I love V, Guy Fawkes and Anonymous, I've got more important stuff to remember at the moment.It's been an interesting past couple weeks, and I've learned a lot about myself through them. How things from your past really do change you. I'm definitely a nature over nurture kinda person, but I've seen personally how one's past can dictate how one turns out. Someday, I might even letcha know about my story. At the moment though... it's still a skeleton in the closet. Do you go around telling people about the dead bodies? I didn't think so.
Remembering isn't just a way of understanding yourself, though. It's also a way of reclaiming yourself. It's hard to put something behind you and try to change when you don't even know where the problems were from at the start. People say the first, and hardest, step is realizing that there is something wrong with you or your actions, but really, that's second nature to me, and probably to a lot of other people. And, really, pinpointing the the origin, though it took plenty of time, wasn't really hard either. The hard part is fixing it. Plain and simple. You're addicted to coke? Yeah, you know you're life is driven by your next fix, you know you started using when your daughter died and your wife left you, and you know the hard part is gonna be changing it. How do you change it? How do you change the fact that you're daughter is dead? How do you get over something like that?
Of course, this is an example. I've never even touch a cigarette, let alone a needle, and am only going on seventeen, but I think my own issues are just as bad as these. I have my own kind of addictions and obsessions.
The one thing, the only thing, that gets me by and keeps me from doing something terrible, is knowing that God's there. Whatever the crap He wants, I'll deal with. I know He's got something up His sleeve for all of this; a plan for my life. And, you know, it sucks like all get out, but I'm okay with it. He can use my circumstances and my downfalls as routes to goodness. And only through Him can my life be anything like good, even if it still sucks.
If you know me, I can just imagine what's going through you're mind. Trust me, you're wrong. Someday you'll understand, maybe.
And if you got this far, whoever you are, please leave a comment with your opinion on bad experiences; specifically or generally! I'd love to hear what you feel.
