#4: I'd Prefer Not To

I just watched a movie called Bartleby. It was about a guy who didn't do anything. In the end, he died of starvation. There's more to it than that, but you can watch it for yourself to find out. Sorry for ruining the ending for you.

I'm going to talk about the phrase "I'd prefer not to" and, at least what I think are, the amazing side notes that go along with it. If we look at Bartleby as simply someone with a mental disability, than none of this applies, but if he were just like you or I, than this guys got some serious self-control.

It's easy to do things and it's hard not to. That's not to say that it's easy to eat icecream and hard to not eat it. That's to say that even with the 'hard' things in life, it's easier to do them. It's harder to cope with failer compared to not. It's easier to let a friendship fall apart compared to not. Ect. What's this have to do with 'I'd prefer not to'? Well, I don't think Bartleby preferred to die. I think he did it for a reason, probably to send the message that Melville wanted to send about him not being successful with Moby Dick. But that's beside the point. Now, the first impression I got from the phrase was that Bartleby could be considered the symbol of a rebel who suffered the consequences. This still may be true, but I think he forced himself to do--and not do, things. This wasn't really a good thing, but it shows us that self-control and discipline can be abused, but more than that, it shows us that we are capable of it.

I constantly am tempted to do things. It drives me crazy when I'm in conflict with myself. Of course I CAN do it, but can I not? That's usually the point that I do whatever it is. My desire to do whatever it is is bigger than my desire not to, but that doesn't mean that I'd prefer to do it. In fact, in most cases I'd prefer not to. This preference stems solely from my conscience.

I know when things are right and wrong.
I know what I should do.
I want to do the wrong thing,
but I'd prefer not to.

I made a rhyme.

Three: Balloons and Buffoons

So, the past three days--but more specifically two, have been extensively interesting. But that's not what this is about exactly. I'll share the story as briefly as I can.

The passed Thursday my class went on a field trip to see A Midsummer Night's Dream at the Shakespeare Theatre in Philadelphia. It was brilliant, hilarious and unexpected to say the least. Any who, at the end, the actor who played Oberon handed one of my classmates a red balloon. This balloon eventually found itself to me. At the train station it crossed our minds that we wouldn't be allowed a balloon on the train, SO, we decided to hand it off to the next person that passed us. He happened to be on the phone, so I gave it to the next man. After giving a strange glare, he took it, but very soon after let it go. Another of my classmates grabbed the balloon and I took it back.

When we got to the platform, I was really only thinking about how to make sure that this pretty red balloon would be taken care of, and as a result I wrote 'Pass It On!' on the balloon. Then it crossed my mind to write my name on the bottom as well. Just in case something interesting came out of this. My friend pointed out a guy in a wicker fedora and quirky glasses as he got off the train and I promptly handed it to him. He took it without reluctance and smiled. Seriously? What great luck! Or maybe there are more people in the world that don't mind stuff out of the routine than I thought there were. In any case, I trusted my balloon was in safe hands, at least for the time being.

Skipping ahead a bit, the next day we did the same thing (with a lesser balloon and with familiar people) at the carnival. Not as great a rush. This event prompted the forming of a new group in the Urban Prankster Network (unofficially). No, we aren't exactly pranksters, so maybe we shouldn't associate ourselves too openly with them, but we found inspiration from one of their branches: Improv Everywhere. So far, we are only four, possibly six... but we will grow!

When Dominique gets our site up, probably in two days time, I'll let anyone who actually reads my blog know!

No. Cinco: Gettin' to the Grit, (plus some nonsense)

I'm not a big meat eater, mostly because I don't like the bits of fat and grit. Fish is good. Chicken can be okay... Five Guys' burgers are fantastic though. Anyway, I usually don't like gritty things, but I've found that one of the most interesting things to do has to do with grit.

People nit-pick and scurry around the bible, misinterpreting and avoiding certain aspects of it that they don't think fit into their lives. By doing so, they are not only losing sight of the truth, but missing the opportunity to enjoy something immensely interesting to study. There are a couple things I'd be interested in discussing. After a lot of research, studying, discussion and prayer, I've come to a conclusion on a lot of different things such as how God feels about homosexuality and it's origins, and why bad things happen in the world. I don't want to give the impression that I know a lot, nor anything for that matter. But I do think a lot about stuff.

Sin in itself is a pretty weird thing. The fact that no one can keep themselves from sinning is evidence that sin exists. To those who don't believe in the Fall of Man, what else could possibly force people to do the things they do? I mean, isn't it logical that a race as supposedly intelligent as humans should be able to control themselves? I mean, that doesn't mean that everyone wants to abstain from sinning, but those that do want to would be able to.

Edit: Found this thing laying in my forgotten blog drafts and couldn't think of a reason not to post it...

Numbah Two: Intro/retro-spectiviativaly Superdooper

It’s safe to say that there have been influences in my life. It’s also a fair statement that not all of them were good ones. With that in mind, I still turned out pretty alright. It's interesting the way some people are influenced by different events. Through my own observations, I've found that some people under pressure can channel the stress to work harder and do better in other aspects of their life, but others just seem to crack under the weight. For those that are good at dealing with stress, I'd say to keep it coming, but can they too break? Or for those who start off weak, might they get stronger?

I've always been interested in psychology, even since before I knew what it was. Once I discovered personality quizzes, I went bonkers. I loved coming up with quizzes that I'd try on other people--though few had the patience to do me the favor. Not until quite recently did I see the real depth and intrigue that came with it.

Maybe I've just been blissfully ignorant, but it seems like people have a lot more problems than I'd give them credit for. Not in a bad way exactly, because everyone has them. Different people deal with them in different ways though. I wonder if there are names for different kinds of people... bottlers, ranters, whisperers, criers, cutters... whatever. It doesn't feel right to label them though. It reminds of one of the episodes of Dead Like Me, when one of the main character's shares with her friend a weird hobby. This hobby is taking pictures of people and putting them in sacks according to the type of person they are. I don't think people should be able to be categorized like that. It's hard to keep yourself from thinking that way though.

Why hadn't I just stuck to ranting about Crispin Glover...

Mah First!: Detroit

Against my better judgment, I'm starting off by apologizing. Sorry for the rambling. >_>

For the life of me, I can't figure out what this blog should be about. It's my first, and I feel like it should be important in some way, but I just don't know what to say. If I don't force myself to start it, I know it will never be done though, so here I am.

I could make this blog about two different things, my recent fascination with Crispin Glover, or Detroit. I think I'll go with Detroit. That seems a little more interesting. SooOoOooo, I watched some sort of documentary on Detroit on Dateline the other day and found that, in summary, the place is a wreck. Respectable person after person has tried to help the city, then hung their head in shame as they walk away from it in the same condition they found it. I can't see how people could simply give up. I wish there was a way I could help, but Michigan isn't exactly down the block from me. It seems silly that of all the people that live there, only a handful of them are actually trying to bring the city back and make their lives better.

When I think about Detroit, it reminds me of how well-off I really am. Of course I'd like some things to be different, but life is good. I'm thinking about reaching out the second half of the summer... maybe volunteering to work in a homeless shelter near my house. The first half of the summer I'll be at the beach working, then at a Conference in D.C. But I'll have nothing to do the second half. Why not? It won't help Detroit, but maybe I saw that show because I was supposed to help people in my community this year.